The Basic Instincts

“Fight or flight.”

We know the phrase so well that we rarely stop to think about the directions inside it.

Something happens.
Something threatens us.
Something unsettles the world as we understand it.

And we move.

Fight — toward.
Flight — away.

Over time, we have added another familiar response.

Freeze — nowhere.

But I found myself wondering whether there is another direction.

Not toward.
Not away.
Not nowhere.
Here.

Perhaps there is another F.

Face.

Not Fawn — which may still move toward, flee inward, or go still, but does so to appease the threat rather than simply face what is there.

Face borrows from none of them.

The Four Directions

Perhaps Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Face describe four different relationships to movement.

Fight — toward

Fight moves toward.

Something appears that we perceive as a threat, and we meet it with resistance.

Push back. Defend. Correct. Overcome.

Sometimes that is exactly what the moment requires.

There are things worth fighting for and things worth fighting against.

Something has to move, and it isn’t going to be me.

Flight — away

Flight moves away.

Leave. Escape. Avoid. Find distance.

That isn’t necessarily weakness.

Sometimes distance protects us. Sometimes leaving is wisdom.
Sometimes getting away is the only response available.

Something has to move, and this time it will be me.

Freeze — nowhere

Freeze moves nowhere.

The threat remains. We remain.

But movement becomes unavailable.

The body becomes still before we have decided what to do next.

Freeze can look like staying.

But perhaps there is a difference between being unable to move and not needing to move.

I can’t move.

Face — here

Face is here.

We already use the word constantly.

Face the problem.
Face reality.
Face your fears.
Face the consequences.
Face one another.

And there is something peculiar about the word.

It doesn’t actually tell us what to do.

To face something is simply to remain oriented toward what is there.

No attack required.
No escape required.
No movement required.

Perhaps not even an answer required.

Just:

Stay and see.

Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Face begin to describe four different relationships to movement:

Fight — toward.
Flight — away.
Freeze — nowhere.
Face — here.

But perhaps the difference between Freeze and Face isn’t really about movement at all.

Both may look perfectly still from the outside.

The difference may be what is happening within.

Freeze has encountered something it cannot move through.
Face has not yet decided what the encounter means.

Face is the moment in which the self does not yet commit to movement because it has not yet committed to interpretation.

And that makes me wonder whether these basic instincts are quite as basic as they first appear.

Patterned Memory

None of us encounters the world without a history.

What I recognize as threatening has been shaped by what I have encountered before.

What hurt me.
What protected me.
What happened when I resisted.
What happened when I left.
What happened when I became still.
What happened when I stayed.

We don’t arrive at each new encounter for the first time.

We arrive formed.

Our biology may give us the capacity to respond to threat.

But biology alone doesn’t tell us what we will experience as threatening.

A raised voice. Silence. Conflict. Authority. Intimacy. Uncertainty.

The same encounter can call forth very different responses in different people.

Perhaps some of what we experience as instinct is patterned memory moving faster than conscious interpretation.

Something happens now.
Something in me remembers then.

And before I have fully encountered what is here, my formation begins telling me what it means.

I’ve seen this before.
Fight.

I’ve seen this before.
Flight.

I’ve seen this before.
Freeze.

The present meets the past, and the past offers its repertoire.

Formation Behind the Response

Perhaps formation is the unseen scaffolding behind every response.

Formed Fight — resistance learned as protection.

Formed Flight — departure learned as safety.

Formed Freeze — immobility learned as survival.

Formed Face — presence learned as possibility.

None is inherently right.
None is inherently wrong.

There are things we should resist.
There are things we should leave.

There are moments when freezing may protect us before we know what else to do.
And there are moments when staying may be dangerous.

Formation doesn’t guarantee wisdom.

It gives us a repertoire.

The question is whether the repertoire we carry is capable of encountering something new.

The Pattern

Fight responds from the pattern.
Flight responds from the pattern.
Freeze responds from the pattern.

But Face does something curious.

Face holds the pattern open.

Not by rejecting what formation has taught us.
Not by pretending memory isn’t there.
Not by overriding instinct.

Face simply creates enough room for something else to enter.

New information.

Maybe this isn’t what I thought it was.
Maybe this person isn’t the person I remember.
Maybe this moment isn’t the moment I remember.
Maybe what protected me then isn’t what I need now.

Perhaps.

Face allows the present to remain present long enough that memory doesn’t get to decide, by itself, what the present means.

Re-Formation

And that may be why Face matters.

Fight can give us another experience of fighting.
Flight can give us another experience of leaving.
Freeze can give us another experience of becoming still.

Each can confirm something already held within our repertoire.

Face creates another possibility.

Because when I remain here long enough to gather new information, what I encounter can challenge what I remember.

New information can change interpretation.

A changed interpretation can make a different response possible.
A different response, lived often enough, can become a different pattern.
And a different pattern can become re-formation.

Face gives formation a chance to learn something new.

That doesn’t mean Face always produces a different response.

I may stay and see — and then fight.
I may stay and see — and then leave.
I may discover that becoming still was exactly what the moment required.

Face doesn’t determine the answer.

It changes where the answer comes from.

The response no longer has to come only from what I already know.
It can also emerge from what I am discovering now.

The Basic Instincts, Remembered

Perhaps Face isn’t another instinct in quite the same way as Fight, Flight, or Freeze.

Perhaps that’s what makes it interesting.

Fight moves toward.

Flight moves away.

Freeze moves nowhere.

Face remains here.

Long enough for the present to speak before the past finishes speaking for it.

Face doesn’t eliminate our other instincts.
It returns them to us differently.

I can Face what is here and discover that I need to Freeze.
I can Face what is here and discover that I need to Fight.
I can Face what is here and discover that I need to Flee.

The difference is not necessarily what I do. The difference is that, for a moment, what I do no longer has to be determined only by what I have done before.

Perhaps that is re-formation.

Not forgetting what formed us.
Not overcoming our instincts.

But allowing what we encounter now to become part of what forms us next.

The Basic Instincts, Re-membered

Face. Freeze. Fight. Flee.

First, remain here.

Then we can discover where we need to go.