Living With a Lifetime

Preface: The Gift of Awareness

Life is not something to race through; it is something to witness, to absorb, and to engage with fully. In a world that moves fast, we often mistake momentum for meaning.

This book is an invitation to pause and listen—to recognize that wisdom is not something to seek, but something to notice. Through faith, grace, integrity, and legacy, Living with a Lifetime explores how presence shapes our understanding of life.

Because wisdom does not come from more doing. It comes from seeing clearly.

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How to Engage With This Book

This book is not a manual. It is a companion. There are no right answers, only reflections to guide your journey. As you read, you may find certain ideas resonate more than others—trust that.

Here are a few ways to engage with these pages:

• A Living Audit: Where in your life do you feel most present? Where do you feel absent?
• A One-Minute Pause: Before turning each page, take a breath. Let stillness settle.
• A Letter to Yourself: Write to your future self about what truly matters.
• A Reader’s Contract: I will not rush to finish. I will allow space for reflection.

This book is not about finding answers. It is about remembering what you already know.

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Why This Book Matters Now: Reclaiming Presence in a World of Speed

In a world that rewards speed, presence has become a lost art. We move from task to task, filling our time yet feeling disconnected.

Living with a Lifetime is a call to reclaim awareness—to recognize that wisdom is not found in grand revelations but in the quiet, daily rhythm of life.

Now, more than ever, we need to remember: life is not something to rush through—it is something to witness.

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Foreword: The Lens and the Light

Confucius once said, “We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.”

This realization rarely arrives with grand fanfare; instead, it sneaks in quietly—disguised within the ordinary.

For me, it happened in the kitchen, watching steam curl from my coffee mug. No applause, no lightning bolt of clarity—just a soft whisper:
Are you truly here?

At forty, birthdays stopped being milestones to count and became invitations to reflect. Life was no longer something to earn or perfect; it was a gift entrusted to me. Each year became another chance to live authentically—to show up, to be present.

In this journey of living with greater intention, I found solace in the wisdom of my heritage—particularly the Thirukkural, a revered Tamil text that distills profound truths into simple couplets. One verse that has deeply resonated with me states:

மனத்துக்கண் மாசிலன் ஆதல் அைனத்தறன் ஆகுல நெறிப் பிற
Maṉattukkaṇ mācilaṉ ātal aṉaittaṟaṉ ākula nīra piṟa
(Let him who does virtuous deeds be of spotless mind; to that extent is virtue; all else is vain show.)

This verse, like many others, has reminded me that true fulfillment lies not in grand achievements but in the clarity and purity of our inner world.

Life speaks in whispers—the hum of a waiting room, the chatter in a tattoo parlor, the warmth of a shared meal. Again and again, it asks:
Are you listening?

Listening is not passive; it is an act of presence. The yogic practice of Pratyahara teaches us to withdraw from distraction and observe life with clarity. Buddhism’s Upeksha reminds us to hold space for both joy and sorrow. These traditions whisper that life is not about chasing perfection, but about embracing each moment fully.

I have learned that wisdom and grace emerge not through control, but through participation—choosing connection over isolation, trust over fear. Each small act of presence shapes the story of our lives.

Does the universe speak to you about where you’re headed? You are. You’ve been?

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Living with Faith: Trusting the Unfolding

How do we learn to trust life’s unfolding, even when the path ahead is unclear?

Faith as Trust, Not Certainty

Faith is not certainty—it is courage. But the deepest faith is the quiet, unwavering trust in ourselves—that we carry within us the resilience to navigate whatever unfolds.

I remember standing at 10,000 feet, strapped to a parachute, questioning everything—my sanity, my courage, even the instructor’s competence.

“Just lean in,” he said, calm and unwavering. My legs locked with fear.

And then, a whisper deep inside: Trust.

I stepped forward into nothingness. For a fleeting moment, I was weightless—suspended between sky and ground. In that freefall, I understood: faith is not about knowing where you will land; it is about trusting that you will be caught.

Everyday Acts of Faith

Faith does not always take the form of a dramatic freefall. More often, it is found in the quiet, everyday choices we make to stay present and connected:

• Forgiving when it would be easier to hold onto resentment.
• Believing in someone’s capacity to grow.
• Tucking your child in at night with the words, “Tomorrow will be better,” even when you are unsure.

At work, I practice faith by trusting the humanity of my coworkers. Ignorance is not incompetence—it is simply a gap waiting to be filled. Faith becomes wisdom in action when we bridge those gaps with patience and care.

Letting Go of Control

For years, I believed that hard work and control would shield me from failure. I chased success, celebrated achievements, and sought validation. But applause fades faster than it arrives, and exhaustion lingers long after.

Faith asks us to let go of the illusions we cling to—status, wealth, perfection—and trust in what truly matters. It invites us to pause and ask: Am I placing my faith in the right things?

The moment I stopped chasing external validation, I reclaimed something far greater: my freedom. Letting go is not about giving up; it is about creating space for clarity and alignment.

Faith as Light in Darkness

When life darkens, faith becomes a candle. Its flame is small yet steadfast, illuminating the path ahead. Across cultures, light symbolizes resilience—whether it is the menorah during Hanukkah, the lamps of Diwali, or the words of Jesus calling his followers “the light of the world.”

I faced a moment of darkness when I was diagnosed with a medical condition. My greatest fear was not for me—it was for my children. What would happen to them if I were not here?

Around the same time, my ex was dating someone new. At first, I saw this as a threat. Then, a different thought emerged: What if this was an answer to a prayer I had not realized I had spoken?

Time has since proven that belief true.

Faith in the dark asks us to choose hope over despair, forgiveness over bitterness, and presence over avoidance. It does not shield us from hardship; it steadies us through it.

Thirukkural Reflection

தெய்வத்தான் ஆகா தெனினும் முயற்சிதன்
மெய்வருத்தக் கூலி தரும் (Kural 619)

Although it be said that, through fate, it cannot be attained, yet labor, with bodily exertion, will yield its reward.

Reflection Prompts

• How have your experiences shaped your understanding of trust and faith in life’s unfolding?
• When faced with uncertainty, what helps you lean into trust rather than fear?
• In what ways has letting go of control brought unexpected growth into your life?
• How do you recognize when you’re placing faith in the wrong things?
• What does faith look like in your life when outcomes are unclear?

Key Takeaways

• Faith is not about certainty but about trusting the journey as it unfolds.
• Letting go of control opens space for growth, connection, and new possibilities.
• Small acts of trust, practiced daily, build resilience and inner strength.
• True faith is rooted in effort and patience, not in immediate results.

Faith, in its essence, invites us to lean into the unknown, to trust that each step we take, however uncertain, is shaping a path greater than we can yet see.

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Living with Grace: The Gift of Existence

What would life look like if we embraced grace not as an achievement, but as a way of being?

Grace as a Gift, Not a Transaction

The world teaches us to measure our worth through productivity, influence, and success. But grace offers a different perspective: life is not a transaction—it is a gift entrusted to us.

I learned this in an unexpected place—an immigration counter. Despite meticulous preparation, the officer’s skepticism was palpable. My rehearsed answers fell flat, and my confidence wavered. In desperation, I asked, “Can I try again, but in my own words?”

The officer paused, then nodded. That simple nod—an unspoken act of grace—changed everything. It did not seem significant at the time, but later, I understood how rare and life-changing second chances can be.

Grace often arrives quietly: in a kind smile, in the opportunity to begin again, or in the silent understanding that eases our fears. It reminds us that life is not about earning approval, but about living with presence and openness.

Breaking the Illusion of Comfort

We are conditioned to believe that success leads to comfort, and comfort leads to peace. Yet, this belief can trap us in an endless pursuit of validation.

For years, I thought financial success would bring me peace. I celebrated victories and basked in recognition, but eventually realized I was not earning respect—I was buying it. And in the process, I was selling parts of my integrity.

This truth echoed in my mind: “Sell your integrity for success, and you will own everything—except yourself.”

Grace whispered a different message. It showed me that peace is not found in accumulation, but in letting go. Fulfillment does not come from external approval but from the quiet contentment of authenticity.

Radical Love in Small Acts

Grace often reveals itself in the smallest, most unassuming gestures.

During my days of working the night shift, my brother and I shared a cramped apartment. Without my asking, he would prepare the space—quieting the room, making it easier for me to rest. At the time, I did not fully appreciate what he was doing. Now I do.

Similarly, as a homesick child in elementary school, I once received silent kindness from a nun who shared her lunch with me. She did not try to fix my sadness; she simply sat with me. Her presence alone was enough.

Grace, like the roots of a banyan tree, deepens over time. But its quietest form is the grace we offer ourselves—the soft, unspoken permission to rest, to falter, and to begin again. It teaches us that love does not need applause; it only asks us to show up.

The Ripple Effect of Grace

Grace flows like a river, shaping everything it touches without demanding acknowledgment. A single act of kindness—a word, a meal, a moment of empathy—can ripple outward in ways we may never fully realize.

The Zulu proverb, Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu—”A person is a person through other people”—reminds us that our humanity is defined by the grace we extend to each other. We become who we are through connection and vulnerability.

Grace calls us to trust that even the smallest acts contribute to something greater. It is about believing that our kindness, given freely, carries weight beyond what we can see.

Thirukkural Reflection

அருள்சேர்ந்த நெஞ்சினார்க் கில்லை இருள்சேர்ந்த
இன்னா உலகம் புகல் (Kural 243)

They will never enter the world of darkness and wretchedness whose minds are the abode of kindness.

Reflection Prompts

• How has grace shown up in unexpected moments of your life?
• What does it mean to receive life as a gift rather than something to earn?
• How have small acts of kindness from others shaped your view of grace?
• How do you respond when life doesn’t meet your expectations of fairness?
• In what ways can you extend grace to yourself during times of failure or doubt?

Key Takeaways

• Grace is not earned but received and shared freely.
• Embracing grace allows us to find peace in imperfection.
• Small acts of kindness create lasting ripples in our lives and others’.
• Living with grace means opening our hearts to both giving and receiving.

Grace, when embraced as a way of being, transforms the ordinary into the extraordinary. It reminds us that life’s beauty lies not in what we achieve, but in how we show up for ourselves and others.

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Living With Integrity: Following Your True North

How do we live authentically in a world that constantly asks us to conform?

Integrity As A Compass

Integrity is not about perfection—it is about alignment. It is the quiet ability to bring our actions, words, and values into harmony, even when the world offers easier, more convenient paths.

As a teenager, I convinced myself that pocketing small amounts of money from my grandfather to help friends was justified. To give with what you have is human; to give what you have is divine—unless you’re Robin Hood! I told myself.

When my grandfather discovered the truth, he did not scold or shame me. He simply looked at me with quiet heartbreak. His silence weighed heavier than any reprimand. That moment taught me:

Integrity is not about avoiding mistakes; it is about how we rebuild trust when we fall short.

Quiet Rebellions Of Authenticity

Living with integrity often feels like swimming upstream. It requires resisting societal pressures that prioritize appearances over truth.

For me, tattoos became a quiet rebellion—a visible declaration of my core values. Each design inked into my skin tells a story of resilience and authenticity. I knew that wearing my values openly might invite judgment, but I was not seeking approval.

Honesty Over Comfort

Integrity demands that we confront uncomfortable truths.

For years, I carried resentment toward my parents, believing their choices shaped my struggles. But becoming a parent myself shifted my perspective. I realized they did the best they could with what they knew. In place of blame, I found empathy.

Integrity is not about being right; it is about being real.

Walking Away From The Noise

In a world obsessed with perfection and external validation, integrity often means stepping away from the noise. Social media, with its curated images of success, can drown out our inner truth.

When I stopped chasing approval, I rediscovered something simple yet profound: “If I will trust my quiet truth, then I can.”

The Four-Step Process for Integrity

• If I can, I should: Recognizing our ability to act with integrity is the first step.
• If I should, I must: Commitment transforms intention into action.
• If I must, I will: Action creates alignment and trust.
• If I will, I can: Through consistent practice, integrity becomes second nature.

Thirukkural Reflection

“பொய்யாமை பொய்யாமை ஆற்றின் அறம்பிற செய்யாமை செய்யாமை நன்று” (Kural 297)
Poyyāmai poyyāmai āṟṟiṉ aṟampiṟa ceyyāmai ceyyāmai naṉṟu
If a man has the power to abstain from falsehood, it will be well with him, even though he practices no other virtue.

Reflection Prompts

• How have your values evolved over time, and how do they shape your current decisions?
• When have you compromised your integrity, and what did you learn from the experience?
• How do you recognize when societal pressures conflict with your personal values?
• What does living authentically mean to you in the face of external expectations?
• How does the idea of ‘quiet rebellion’ resonate with your journey of integrity?

Key Takeaways

• Integrity is aligning our actions with our values, even in difficult moments.
• Thoughtful decisions, once made, require unwavering commitment.
• Integrity fosters self-respect and deepens trust with others.
• Living with integrity means choosing truth over convenience.

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Living With Respect: Honoring Connection And Boundaries

What does it mean to truly honor the humanity of others, even when it challenges us?

Respect As Curiosity

Respect begins with curiosity—the willingness to see beyond our assumptions and seek to understand others with an open heart. When we approach people with genuine interest, we honor their experiences, struggles, and individuality.

As a child, I often overheard adults passing judgment—quick to label others based on appearances or misunderstandings. It planted a question in my mind:

Why are we so quick to define others before we truly know them?

Disrupting Performative Respect

In today’s world, respect is often performative—offered when convenient and withheld when it is not. We engage in polite conversations and gestures but often stop short of genuine care.

True respect demands more. It is not about avoiding conflict or pleasing others; it is about recognizing another’s humanity even when it is uncomfortable.

Seeing Beneath The Surface

Respect goes beyond politeness—it is about recognizing the invisible burdens others carry.

I often wonder:

How many quiet acts of courage go unseen every day?

The single parent juggling multiple jobs, the student facing silent battles with self-doubt, the neighbor grieving an invisible loss.

Self-Respect As A Necessity

True respect begins within. Self-respect forms the foundation for how we extend respect to others. Without it, our attempts at kindness often become conditional or hollow.

Walking away from relationships or situations that compromise our integrity is one of the most profound acts of self-respect. It is not about arrogance; it is about honoring yourself enough to say no when it matters most.

Thirukkural Reflection

“ஒழுக்கம் உடைம குடிமை இழுக்கம் இழிந்த பிறப்பாய் விடும்” (Kural 133)
Oḻukkam uṭaimai kuṭimai iḻukkam iḻinta piṟappāy viṭum
One who belittles others without understanding them belittles himself.

Reflection Prompts

• When have you felt truly seen and respected by others, and how did that shape your connection?
• How does curiosity influence your ability to respect others’ experiences and perspectives?
• How do you balance respect for others with maintaining self-respect and boundaries?
• In what ways can you deepen respect by listening without judgment or assumptions?
• What experiences have challenged your understanding of respect in unexpected ways?

Key Takeaways

• True respect begins with understanding and valuing others’ perspectives.
• Setting healthy boundaries is essential to maintaining mutual respect.
• Respect is earned through consistent actions, not just words.
• Honoring others also means honoring yourself with self-respect.

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Living With Discipline: Strength Through Commitment

How do we cultivate discipline that empowers us rather than restricts us?

Discipline As Freedom

Discipline is often misunderstood as restriction. In reality, it creates the structure needed to live authentically and with purpose. True discipline is not about self-denial; it is about creating space for what truly matters.

When I was younger, discipline felt like an adversary—rules and obligations I resisted. Over time, I realized that discipline is not about what we give up; it is about what we make possible.

The Strength Of Small Habits

Discipline thrives in the small, everyday choices that shape our lives. It is the commitment to take one step at a time, even when motivation fades.

• Waking up early to pursue a personal goal.
• Setting aside time each day to read or reflect.
• Practicing gratitude, even in difficult moments.

Small habits, repeated consistently, create lasting change. Discipline is not about drastic transformations; it is about steady progress.

Discipline And Adaptability

Life rarely unfolds according to plan. Discipline must be flexible enough to adapt while staying true to core values. Rigidity can lead to burnout, but adaptable discipline allows us to persevere through challenges.

The Courage To Begin Again

One of the hardest aspects of discipline is starting over. Whether it’s a fitness goal, a creative pursuit, or a personal commitment, setbacks can make us feel like failures. But discipline reminds us that every day is a new opportunity to begin again.

Discipline is not about perfection; it is about perseverance.

Thirukkural Reflection

“சூழ்ச்சி முடிவு துணிவேதல் அத்துணிவு தாழ்ச்சியுள் தங்குதல் தீது” (Kural 671)
Cūḻcci muṭivu tuṇiveytal attuṇivu tāḻcciyuḷ taṅkutal tītu
Deliberation’s end is reached with firm resolve; To delay that resolve is a grievous fault.

Reflection Prompts

• How has your understanding of discipline shifted from restriction to freedom over time?
• When have small, consistent habits led to meaningful change in your life?
• How do you balance flexibility with structure in your approach to discipline?
• What setbacks have taught you the most about resilience and starting over?
• How do you recognize when discipline is serving growth versus when it becomes rigid?

Key Takeaways

• Discipline provides the foundation for growth and lasting change.
• Small, consistent actions lead to meaningful progress over time.
• True discipline balances structure with flexibility and self-compassion.
• Commitment to one’s values brings clarity and direction in life.

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Living With Understanding: A Journey Toward Clarity

How can understanding—of ourselves, others, and the world—shape a life of meaning and connection?

Understanding As A Bridge

Understanding is not about agreement; it is about connection. It builds bridges between people, perspectives, and experiences by allowing us to see the world through another’s eyes.

I recall a conflict with a close friend where we were locked in a cycle of blame—each feeling unheard and unseen. Finally, instead of defending my position, I asked, “Can you help me understand what you’re feeling?”

That question opened a door.

The Strength Of Self-Awareness

True understanding begins within. Self-awareness allows us to reflect on our values, acknowledge our limitations, and embrace growth.

When we nurture our own well-being, we can offer empathy and presence without depletion. Self-awareness teaches us that while life’s challenges may be beyond our control, our response to them is always within our power.

Lessons In Growth From Setbacks

Some of life’s greatest lessons emerge from its hardest chapters. Setbacks have a way of stripping away illusions, leaving us with what truly matters.

Like punctuation in a sentence, the pauses in life give it meaning. In those moments of reflection, we find clarity and direction.

Symbols As Anchors Of Meaning

Symbols have the power to ground us in our understanding of life and connection. They serve as reminders of the lessons we have learned, the growth we have embraced, and the resilience we continue to cultivate.

During a visit to a tattoo parlor, I shared fragments of my story with the artist. When he finished, he explained the significance of the bungai terung, a traditional Bornean tattoo symbolizing growth and belonging. As the spiral took shape on my skin, I realized: Finding your place in the world starts with finding belonging within yourself.

• A lotus flower, representing peace amidst challenge.
• The Adinkra symbol nea onnim no sua a, ohu—”He who does not know can learn.”
• Punctuation marks, reminding us that life, like language, requires pauses, questions, and endings to find meaning.

Thirukkural Reflection

“குறித்தது கூறாமைக் கொள்வாரேற டையன உறுப்போர் றனையரால் வேறு” (Kural 704)
Kuṟittatu kūṟāmaik koḷvārō ṭēṉai uṟuppō raṉaiyarāl vēṟu
Those who understand one’s thoughts without being informed (thereof) and those who do not, may (indeed) resemble one another bodily; still are they different (mentally).

Reflection Prompts

• How has self-understanding deepened your ability to connect with others authentically?
• What assumptions have you let go of that no longer serve your growth?
• How has embracing discomfort led to greater clarity in your life?
• In what ways do you practice understanding without the need for agreement?
• How does understanding your past shape your present choices and relationships?

Key Takeaways

• True understanding begins with self-awareness and reflection.
• Empathy allows us to connect deeply with others’ experiences.
• Seeking knowledge with an open mind fosters wisdom and growth.
• Understanding leads to better decision-making and meaningful relationships.

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Conclusion: A Life Lived in Alignment

What does it mean to live in alignment with our values and intentions?

Rivers to the Ocean

Rivers teach us something essential about intentional living. They do not carve their path through force but through persistence—shaping everything they touch along the way. A river smooths jagged rocks, nourishes the banks, and creates life along its shores. It adapts to obstacles, flowing around them without losing its course.

Like rivers, our lives leave marks—not through grand gestures, but through quiet, steady transformation. Every choice, every act of kindness, and every moment of presence shapes the landscape of the world around us.

The ultimate purpose of a river is to reach the ocean, where its journey merges with something greater.

Flowing Toward Purpose

While reflection guides us to deeper understanding, intentional living requires action. Much like water tracing a path through the earth, our small, daily choices carve out the life we desire. Choosing faith over fear, grace over judgment, and integrity over convenience—these are the choices that define our lifetime.

I am reminded of the words:
“Life and time are gifts of grace; learning to share them is our Lifetime.”

Living authentically is not about holding onto what we have but about letting it flow through us. Like the river, we are meant to give freely—to nourish, to shape, and to share the journey toward something larger than ourselves.

The Quiet Legacy We Leave

The true measure of a life is not found in the milestones we reach or the applause we receive. It is in the ways we have shown up—with courage, kindness, and authenticity.

A life lived in alignment leaves quiet but enduring ripples, carrying our light forward long after we have moved on.

Thirukkural Reflection

“அறத்தினூஉங்கு ஆக்கமும் இல்லை அதைன மறத்தலின் ஊங்கில்லை கேடு” (Kural 32)
Aṟattiṉū’uṅku ākkamum illai ataṉai maṟattaliṉ ūṅkillai kēṭu
There can be no greater source of good than the practice of virtue; there can be no greater source of evil than the forgetfulness of it.

Reflection Prompts

• How can you align your daily choices with your core values and intentions?
• What small, consistent actions can you take to create a meaningful impact over time?
• In what ways has reflection helped you recognize the interconnectedness of your life?
• How do you want to be remembered, and how can you live in alignment with that vision?
• What practices help you stay grounded and adaptable as life evolves?

Key Takeaways

• Living in alignment means integrating our values into everyday actions.
• A meaningful life is built through purpose, intention, and authenticity.
• Small, consistent efforts create lasting impact and a fulfilling legacy.
• True fulfillment comes from living with integrity, gratitude, and connection.

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Afterword: The Next Step

There comes a moment, after deep reflection, when life gently asks:

Now what?

Not as pressure. Not as a demand. Just a quiet invitation.

You have spent time here—pausing, noticing, listening. Learning to be present with life as it is. Letting go of the need to chase answers. Trusting that meaning is found not in arriving, but in showing up fully, again and again.

But something stirs now. A restlessness. A pull.

Because awareness, when deep enough, does not let us stay still forever.

There is a moment when what we have seen asks to be lived.

That moment is different for everyone. Maybe it arrives as an unexpected opportunity. Maybe as a long-held truth you can no longer ignore. Maybe as the simple knowing that it is time to move.

What does that movement look like? I can’t tell you. Only you know.

But I can tell you this: stepping forward will not take you away from presence. It will bring you deeper into it.

Action is not separate from awareness. Movement is not the loss of stillness. They belong to each other.

So, if you feel it—the quiet nudge, the whisper that says, there is more—trust it.

Living through a Lifetime is about that trust. About learning to move with intention. About walking forward, not in search of something missing, but in honor of what you have already found.

Not everyone is ready to take that step. And that’s okay. If you are not, stay here. Let reflection be your home a little while longer.

But if something in you knows—if something in you is leaning toward movement—then let’s go.

Where?
We’ll find out along the way.

But we don’t have to stay here.
Not anymore.

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Now that you’ve paused to reflect on what matters most, how will you bring these values into your daily choices? Reflection is the foundation, but intentional living is built in action. Let’s explore how.

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